Why Me?


Let’s talk leadership.  What does it take to be a leader?  What does it take to make a leader great?  Well, to be a leader one probably has to be able to communicate with others.  They also have to have some confidence.  Maybe some knowledge in what they are doing too.  That always helps.  The list for leader attributes can go on and on. I have never really regarded myself as a natural born leader.  In fact, I was the painfully shy child who became a social butterfly during the teenage years.  Leadership was not my thing then.  Now, it seems that leadership positions are the ones that I always end up in.

Often, leadership opportunities will fall into my lap and I will take them on.  I don’t know if there is something about me, or if I am actually driven to take on all the leadership roles that I have already been through.  Many times, I will be presented into a new leadership position and sometimes I just want to sit and blend into the background.  Is it my opinions?  My passion for my job?  My irritation with the system?  I am not quite sure.  I just know that these positions and roles fall into my lap for a reason.  They give me a sense that I am supposed to be so much more than just a teacher.  Every day I get this sense.  Everyone around me tells me “That will be you some day.”  “You are going to be the next leader for special education.”  “oh, just keep telling yourself that.  You will be Dr. Krile in no day.”  “The next time I see you, you will have a doctorate.”  Scary thing is: I never told these people my dreams.  They just seem to sense it.  Maybe I am too driven.  Maybe I just radiate a nerd vibe or something.  Who knows.  But, I guess my point is that I sometimes wonder: Why me?  Why am I the one people think will change the system some day?  That is a lot of responsibility, failure and stress.  Then I snap back to reality.  I need to appreciate my talents and knowledge.  God has given me both of these for a reason.  I am supposed to use them to make the world a better place.  It is sometimes hard to get the courage to stand up for what you believe in and use your talents to change the world.  I guess I need to keep having faith and knowledge that if God wants me to use my talents to be a great leader, he will get me there and get me through it.  I can’t be a chicken.  I need to trust in him and place my faith in him.  So, I really shouldn’t be asking “Why me?”  I guess I should be saying, “Yes, it’s me.  I will face my fears and do what I need to in order to change the world.”

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