Recently, I have come into some professional life drama and the school year hasn’t even started yet. Yes, I know that this is bound to happen in any professional role, but this is slowly getting me anxious to not start the school year. I am not anticipating it. Actually, slightly regretting it. I LOVE working with my students and watching them grow. Yes, we have bad moments, but the good ones make up for it. I am sure once I see the kiddos again, my passion will be back in me. But, lately, I have begun to question. Actually, I have begun to question it a lot and think about what other career I would much rather be in. I do find this disheartening because special education used to be my passion. The thing I looked so much forward to doing. Helping students. Sure, this probably still is my passion, but I have been so exhausted and burnt out from the past school year, that I really don’t want to go through it again. All throughout college, I was told that “50-75% of all new special education teachers are out of the field in 3-5 years.” I never wanted to be that number. I was in this for the long run. Well, I am entering into my third year of this and really wondering if I am one of those numbers. If someone came up to me today and said, “Hey..I need a personal shopper, manager of the jewelry store, editor, etc. do you want the job? ” I would agree in a heartbeat and leave my current job. I am sure this is just a phase I am going through. I am just freaking out over the demands I know will be placed on me this year. I am sure it will be different once I walk through that door on the first day. I just need to get through that first step and get over it.
So, this brings me to the title of my blog. If you could give become ANYTHING right now, what would it be? I have thought about this. If I had a chance right now, I would pursue theater, fashion or writing. I would love to be a personal shopper, costume designer, or even a novelist. I am sure people get burnt out in those jobs as well, but right now, that is what I would do. I am a creative person and like to use my creative thinking skills. Teaching allows me to do that a lot, but it’s sort of a different creative thinking that is done.
In the end, I know that I am meant for the field that I am in. I was led to this field and given great opportunities to get me to where I am now. Yes, I am fed up with some things, but I know God has a bigger plan for me. I am right where he wants me and the next opportunity will be presented to me when it is the right time because what I am going through now is only helping me become the person I am supposed to be.