Life is really a juggling act. We juggle balls in the air and are sometimes given more balls. When some of our balls fall down, we experience difficultly and try to scramble to pick all the balls back up and start perfectly juggling again.
I have several balls up in the air in my life right now. I think I have four right now that are going all around. Those four are: Grad school, social life, work, and spiritual life. Those four were going around perfectly, then BAM I dropped one. My social life went out the window. Grad school is still hanging in there because I force myself to get on the computer and do my papers every night and weekend. Work is sorta hanging in there. Really rough and stressful right now, but it’s going. Spiritual life is there. I refuse to drop that one because through the stress and feelings I have, that is what keeps me going. Okay, so I dropped one. My social life. That ball dropped completely and is just sitting there as I try to balance and juggle the other three.
With that being said, I am a strange rut right now. I can’t quite explain what it is, or even figure it out. Tonight during my walk, I got to thinking about what it is. Right now I am really leaning towards it being that I have no social life and have to bottle up all of my issues without telling someone about them to get them off my chest. That only makes more burdens on my mind and body. Another thought I had is that I am exhausted. Mentally and physically. My mind has been constantly doing grad school for over a year now with hardly any breaks. Currently, I am taking 8 credits while being a full time special education teacher. It is NOT easy. I have already had to ask for an extension on a project and I can hardly keep up. My mind is exhausted to the max. So, I am really attributing my current “funk” to those two factors. I have always heard that grad school does this to people because it is demanding and hard. The first year I thought it was just a myth. Now, I see that it is 100% true. Now, I must scramble to pick up the balls I dropped and get them back up in the air. Sacrifices must be made and priorities must be set. Soon enough, all four balls will be back up in the air and going around smoothly. Perhaps, we need to learn to not take more balls than we can juggle? hmmmmm I must reflect on that thought now.