This weekend I had a long needed sister date with my sister. We pampered oursleves and got to talking about how her grief therapy is going. She discussed with me about how her therapist wants her to write a letter to our mother like she is alive and tell her everything that is going on with her life. While this may be a therapy thing, I feel very uncomfortable with it. There is much pain that I experience when I think about my parents having passed away. If I was to write a letter to my mother, I would experience horrible pain and sobbing fits. My sister also discussed how this is hard for her as well and she hasn’t decided on if she will actually do it. My question is, is there anyone out there that does write these letters to their deceased loved ones? And if you do, does it actually help you, or does it just cause you more pain because you set back in the reality of them not being here with you?
After we talked about this, I thought more about this concept. My mother has been deceased for 10 years now. I was 15 when she passed and have few memories of her left. I can’t actually picture her in my head anymore or remember what her voice sounds like. I had such short time with her. I imagine what would be different about me if she were still alive. I was such a mother’s girl. I am the youngest, so she often referred to me as her “baby” and “little one.” I would blush and say, “MOTHER! I AM NOT A BABY!” But, in reality, I loved being her baby. I went with her everywhere and wanted to always be with her. Actually, I would ditch my friends to be with her. My mother was my best friend. I wanted to be just like her. So, with all this being said, if I had to write to my mother I would ask her certain things. I would want to know if she is proud of the woman I have become. I often sit back and wonder are you proud of me right now? I never wait for an answer because I know that I have made her proud and I strive to continue making her proud. This is all I really would want to know from her right now. I am sure there is more than that, but it does pain me to think about writing letters to her like I was talking to her in real life when for 10 years that is all I have ever wanted to do. Talk to her. Have a real life conversation with her. Stop missing her and fill that missing part of my heart back with her motherly love. So, in the end, writing letters to deceased loved ones. Is this a yes or a no?