Strong……Not by Choice


8c4399b73fd75352bfb120aa03c5ef63

“You’re so much stronger than I ever could be if I were in your shoes.”  “You’re so strong.”  “I don’t know how you are doing it.  I couldn’t do it if I were you.”  All of these statements have been said to me since my father passed away and people realized that I am dealing with some bad grief.

Whenever I heard these statements, I cringed.  I so badly wanted to spit back, “I am not strong.  I am breaking inside.  I am just good at hiding it.”  I also wanted to say, “If I am strong, it is not by choice.  It is because I have to move on with my life even if I don’t want to.  The world won’t let me shut down like I want to.  I have no choice but to be strong and fight away the tears every day.”

In reality, if you are grieving, you have no choice but to be strong.  Shutting down isn’t the option because the world moves on.  Since the world moves on, we also have to.  Saying the statement, “You are so strong” to someone who is grieving is sort of pointless.  There is no other option but to be strong.  And you don’t realize how strong you can actually be until you have to grieve over the loss of a loved one.  Being strong sometimes isn’t what we choose to be, it’s just the only option we have.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Strong……Not by Choice

Add yours

  1. There are times while grieving when you feel like why should I share my vulnerabilities with this person. He or she will never understand how I feel. This projects a false impression of strength, when in reality it’s just a defence mechanism.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: