The Orphaned Adult


When we think about what an orphan is, we often get images of little orphan Annie or orphanages in our heads.  I looked up the definition of orphan and it is exactly what we define it as:  “A child whose parents are dead.”  What about adults who lose both their parents?  Are they not orphans?  At the age of 25, I consider myself an orphan as I have no parents and am single, so no support/guidance system is there for me.  I consider myself to have joined the “orphaned adult” club.

Like children, when adults lose their parents, they almost experience a loss of identity.  I read an article entitled The Peculiar Grief of the Adult Orphan.  This article said that “The second parent’s death plunges us into what can feel like a bottomless pit of emotion.”  Oh man, is there not a more true statement than that one.  I have been there/am currently there.  After my father died I constantly ask myself, Why is this so hard for me?  I am an adult, not a child.  This article is truly an amazing read.  It helped me see that it is going to be hard when you become an “orphaned adult.”

My therapist described my situation as ” not normal” for my age.  He stated that I am almost going through an identity crisis as I have to figure out who I now am without parents/how I can live my life without them.  He explained that I am in a “passageway” of life.  That many people my age don’t get to this passageway until they are in their 30’s, but I have to go through it because I am my only caregiver now.  In this passageway, I journey towards who the “real” adult me will be.  I make changes and release all toxicness and negativity while in this passageway.  The passageway is a difficult journey, but what ever doesn’t make it through the passageway with me, will not be there with me when I get out of it.

The picture I have for this post is a book that I have found through searches.  I am wondering if anyone has read it and if they have anything to say about it.  Is it worth reading?  Does it contain good advice?  Is it a recommended read for a new “orphaned adult?”  I have found that not much literature is out there for people my age who have lost both parents.  I figured this may be due to the “unnormalacy” of my situation, as most people my age have a/both parents still.  I am thinking about writing a book about young adult grief and the dealings of it, but that is still a thought.  I have been told to write a book about.  It is an idea and may be in the works, we will see.  If I were to write it, my goal would be to provide support and guidance to those who are my age and have lost parents (just like the goal of my blogging), as besides my sister and my therapist no one else in my life understood what I was going through.  I needed someone that could relate to me.  Someone my age that could relate.  That is the purpose of my blog and would be the purpose of the book.  To help the grieving as I truly know what they are enduring.


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