Good Riddance Toxic Thoughts


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As I have stated in several posts before, all of my close personal friends have left me while I was/am grieving the loss of my father/parents.  Many of them did not understand what I was feeling or going through.  Many of them just didn’t know what to do.  So, in the end, I lost all of my best friends and the only friend I have in my life right now is that of my sister.

When each of these “friends” left me, they took a part of me with them.  My father and mother also took a part of me with them when they passed.  There are moments when I just feel so empty….so unlovable.

There are friends that I just can’t stop thinking about.  Friends that I think, “Well, maybe I could go back to them.  Maybe things could be different.”  But, I know that can’t happen.  I try to get these thoughts that tend to plague my mind away.  I decided that I want to say goodbye to the thoughts of the pain and loneliness these people caused me once and for all.  This was going to be a talk with my therapist this next week.  And, it probably still will be.

My question is:  How do you get over the thoughts of the people who hurt you and left you?  How do I stop thinking about them and then thinking about the pain they caused me when they left me?  I have thought about typing up “fake emails” in which I express my feelings and what I want to say goodbye to.  Then, just deleting it instead of sending it.  I don’t want to cause anyone harm.  I just want to work on this healing so that I can get back to trying to cope with the loss of my parents.

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