My therapy session yesterday went okay. Surprise…surprise…..I am now back to seeing him weekly as he is very concerned about my suicidal thoughts making appearances again, as well as my extreme level of self-hatred. He also stated that my depression is definitely in full force. We discussed the importance of taking off work for me to come to these sessions because I need to focus on healing myself first and worry about work second. I need to start placing myself as a priority and need to learn how to do that. In the following sessions we are going to be working on that skill.
We discussed my emotional break down and he reinforced the idea that I am experiencing extreme levels of anxiety and stress. Not only in work, but with my personal relationships that are crumbling. This anxiety and stress are causing my nightmares to appear again. This doesn’t surprise me. Basically his main advice for me was “don’t let them do this to you. You are worth so much more.” Sure…..I agree with him there…but just how do I go and do that? That is something I don’t quite understand yet.