This week has been pretty dreaded for me. I have been closing myself off from people and avoiding the question of “What are you doing this weekend,” as well as comments of “You can come to my place.” I really just don’t want to do anything for the holidays. I don’t have a “real” family anymore and just don’t want to celebrate. I would rather be alone. So, alone and not celebrating I will be.
To distract myself, I have picked up a thriller from my “not able to read shelf.” Yes, I have a “not able to read shelf.” My therapist wouldn’t allow me to read murder books and psychological thrillers (my favorite genre) because I was having HORRIBLE and heart wrenching nightmares for a long time after my father passed away. These nightmares caused me to not sleep for weeks. So, I made a “not able to read shelf.” Well, Monday night I picked up a book from that shelf and started reading it. Let’s just say that it most certainly is a thriller and it probably would give me nightmares. But, to avoid that, I am tricking myself. I am reading parts from a romance book to put some “feel good” into me before I go to sleep. Something to get my mind off the girls locked in a cellar and the murders happening in the book, The Cellar. If you haven’t read that book, you must. It is A-FREAKING-MAZING! Quite a bit disturbing….actually, REALLY REALLY disturbing, but most psychological thrillers are. I just HAVE to keep reading it. I NEED to know what the heck is wrong with the guy doing these things and why he is doing it. It’s right up there with Gone Girl and Sharp Edges. Who doesn’t love a good thriller?