I shouldn’t write about this, but I need to because I have no one else to talk to about this. I don’t have therapy again until next Friday (the day after my master’s graduation because I know that will be somewhat painful for me as I have only two people to celebrate that achievement with). There may be some repercussions to writing about this, but I need to get it out.
Some of you may know that my “best” friend left me during my grief. She was overseas teaching when my father died. I understand that she was going through her own things, but she was not there for me in my grief. In my anger stages of grief, we got into arguments online. She visited me in person and hardly 15 words were said to each other. Needless to say, we aren’t friends anymore.
Well, yesterday, I happened to get an email from her apologizing for things. I haven’t talked to, or heard from her, in three months. Why yesterday? I don’t really get it. I appreciate that she was apologizing, but why when she already left me to deal with this on my own?
This is where I go bad….I read her blog today and got absolutely furious. She blogged about how she is angry because someone was “stupid” and hurt her brother. She wrote about how she hated the insensitivity of people. HELLLLOOOOOOOOO!?!!?!??!?!!?!?!!??!?!!??!?! Can I just say, “WHAT THE HELL?!??!?!?!!?” Doesn’t she get just how insensitive she was towards me as I endured my father’s death??!?!?!?!?!!? I feel like she doesn’t see what she did to me at all. That she thinks nothing was wrong with how she treated me. I find it odd that she can get angry over people hurting her brother and being insensitive, when in reality that was exactly what she did to me.
GRRRRR I REALLY SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok…..I am done now…I think…I can get over this extreme hurt and anger. I can do it…I can do it.