GRRRRRRRR Unleash the Anger Beast One More Time


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I shouldn’t write about this, but I need to because I have no one else to talk to about this.  I don’t have therapy again until next Friday (the day after my master’s graduation because I know that will be somewhat painful for me as I have only two people to celebrate that achievement with).  There may be some repercussions to writing about this, but I need to get it out.

Some of you may know that my “best” friend left me during my grief.  She was overseas teaching when my father died.  I understand that she was going through her own things, but she was not there for me in my grief.  In my anger stages of grief, we got into arguments online.  She visited me in person and hardly 15 words were said to each other.  Needless to say, we aren’t friends anymore.

Well, yesterday, I happened to get an email from her apologizing for things.  I haven’t talked to, or heard from her, in three months.  Why yesterday?  I don’t really get it.  I appreciate that she was apologizing, but why when she already left me to deal with this on my own?

This is where I go bad….I read her blog today and got absolutely furious.  She blogged about how she is angry because someone was “stupid” and hurt her brother.  She wrote about how she hated the insensitivity of people.   HELLLLOOOOOOOOO!?!!?!??!?!!?!?!!??!?!!??!?! Can I just say, “WHAT THE HELL?!??!?!?!!?”  Doesn’t she get just how insensitive she was towards me as I endured my father’s death??!?!?!?!?!!?  I feel like she doesn’t see what she did to me at all.  That she thinks nothing was wrong with how she treated me.  I find it odd that she can get angry over people hurting her brother and being insensitive, when in reality that was exactly what she did to me.

GRRRRR I REALLY SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ok…..I am done now…I think…I can get over this extreme hurt and anger.  I can do it…I can do it.

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9 thoughts on “GRRRRRRRR Unleash the Anger Beast One More Time

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  1. Most people don’t have the ability to see themselves with such clarity as they can apply to others. Phrases such as “the pot calling the kettle black” were created for such reasons.
    Maybe she apologized because she saw someone being insensitive to her brother and a light went off in her head about you? Sometimes people have trouble being empathetic, or they just simply can’t handle another person’s pain and they withdraw. Maybe she wanted to be there for you with her whole heart, but was just struggling too much to be capable of it? Was her message sincere? It’s possible she knows she should have been there for you, but felt helpless and not sure how to apologize? Or her own struggles were too much for her to reach out? I’m not trying to defend her, I’m just trying to offer a different perspective. As far as I’m concerned, I’ll get the shovel! 🙂

    1. Thank you for letting me see this perspective. Her message was sincere but out of anger I made it angry and wanted to reply “this is what you did to me. You were my best friend and weren’t there for me. I can’t forgive you.” I was just hurt so much by her.

      1. Very true. And, if she truly is sympathetic towards what I am going through and trying to understand it, she would try to understand that my anger is coming from my grief and depression. I am not looking for excuses for my behavior, but I am having a hard time controlling it right now as my depression spirals out of control.

      2. Exactly! And this really could be God’s way of cleaning out the people he does not want in my life anymore. This all probably happened for a bigger plan that I cannot understand. I just need to sit back and remember to put this all into God’s hands.

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