Through all my bible studies and devotions, one phrase in the bible comes back to me over and over. It is one I so often think about during this time of year. This is the phrase that Mary uses with Angel Gabriel. The phrase in which she accepts God’s plan for her life. Many of us know this phrase. It is that of:
“I am a handmaiden of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to His word.”
Explanation: Mary said YES to God’s plan for her even though much anxiety, pain, and trouble would come along with it.
Reflecting on my life right now, I can see God is changing me. He is leading and calling me to bigger things. I can faintly hear His whisper as He says to my heart, “Darling, this is going to be the year I change you. Just hold on and I will take you where I want you to be. I will take you to great things.” Whenever I think about leaving my amazing students and some amazing staff, I get sad because over these past years they have really become a part of my heart. Several people have told me they “see greatness” in me. They have said that they know I can’t stay as a teacher because “I am destined for greatness.” I don’t see this in myself. But, if it is God’s will for me, let it be done unto me.
When I think about the new year coming, I get a little bit scared. I know this is going to be the year of much change for me. I am destined to move far away from the land I know and devout myself to a beyond rigorous academic program for research. I find myself getting very nervous as I think about what program will accept me. I go through moments of doubt and fear as I think about going to one of the universities I have applied to.
Finally, as of last night, I have put this fear aside. I reminded myself to surrender to God. To stop trying to figure things out because He will take me where He wants me. He will take me where I am supposed to be.
As I remember Mary’s words, I try to remind myself to be a faithful servant, as she was. That no matter what anxiety, pain, and turmoil comes my way, this is God’s plan for my life. And nothing satisfies me more than carrying out the plan the one who created me wrote for me.
So without further ado, the following is my prayer for the new year:
“Lord, I am your servant. My life is not for me to live for myself. Instead, it is to do your will. I surrender myself to you. This includes whatever plans you have for me in this next year. I will go where ever you want me to go. I will use my talents in a way that serves you. I now stand back and will let you do your work on me. I will stop trying to control and go where you lead. Like your faithful servant, Mary, remind me that everything done in me will be done according to your word.”