Merry Christmas to everyone out in the blogosphere! I pray that each of you have someone to share love with today.
For me, Christmas was about “family” and “love.” This is the first Christmas where I don’t have a parent here with me. It is just my sister, her dog, and I. All we are doing is watching reruns of The Nanny all day. We aren’t doing the whole decorating and presents thing. We really haven’t done that since our mother passed away 10 years ago, so we are used to that. Last night, we went to Christmas Eve mass at the church we went to as a family. The mass was for our mother. This and seeing everyone with their families and loved ones sort of hurt my heart a little. I tried my hardest to get over the fact that I don’t have that, but maybe someday I will.
I still recognize that today is the day in which my Savior was born and brought into this world to make salvation possible for me. I still cherish and celebrate this, it’s just not as special of a day as it used to be.
I dream of the day that I will have a “Christmas” again. In which I will have a husband and children. Where we decorate the house with nativity scenes and place Baby Jesus out on Christmas day. Where we all dress up in our finest church clothes and attend Christmas mass. Where my husband I watch our children smile and happily chatter around the Christmas tree or dinner table. Someday, I pray this dream will come true as I have my own family and teach them the meaning of Christmas, family, and love. Teach them that we are there for each other and no matter what, will not abandon each other. That no matter what happens, we will take each other in and care for each other.
Until then, I will survive each Christmas with courage. I will reflect on the birth of my Savior and the hope this has given me.