I was late taking my depression medications this morning and went to church without it. Let me tell you, it makes a HUGE difference in my attitude. I was BEYOND crabby and very hard to deal with. My emotions were literally EVERYWHERE. Don’t worry….the medications are in my system now so things are cooling down.
I thought this new year and my “semi-positive” mindset, would help my nightmares go away. Boy….oh boy, how wrong I was! Last night I had the WORST possible nightmare. Here it is:
Do you know those moments when you wake up not knowing where you are? Well, that was this dream. It was that real feeling. In the dream, I woke up not knowing where I was. Then, I assumed I was sleeping in my childhood bedroom on the farm I grew up at. My bed was in the same position. The room was about the same size and color. I had to be in my childhood room. Once I figured out I was in this room (which I was not as I haven’t been there since my father passed away), I swore I heard footsteps on the ceiling above me (which is not possible in the place I live in). I LITERALLY sat up and said, “DAD! DAD!” Because at home those footsteps above me were dad, as his room was right above mine. It was then that I woke up in an EXTREME panic, sweating and heart racing. I said out loud, “My dad is dead!” I then noticed that I was in fact sweating and sitting up. Which makes me believe I actually screamed “dad” and “my dad is dead” in my sleep.
Like I said, WORST possible dream EVER because it was so real. It made me feel like dad was here with me, which he isn’t. The dream only made that reality hit me more. I tried to go back to sleep and worked as hard as I could to not cry myself to sleep.