Muscle Soreness= Remedy for Self-Harm


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When I was placed on Lexapro for anxiety exactly one year ago, I thought it was the most wonderful thing created.  Then, my father passed away and things got worse for me as a lost days of sleep and got thrown into the whirlwind that is depression and suicidal ideations.  I wasn’t eating and wasn’t sleeping.  My therapist referred me back to my doctor for a medication check.  My doctor then increased my dosage of Lexapro.  Well, as some of us know, Lexapro increases appetites.  I was hungry ALL the time.  NOTHING would fill me up.  25 pounds later and some intense suicidal thoughts/days of just laying in bed later, I was taken off Lexapro and put on Venlafaxine for depression and anxiety.  This medication is not an appetite increaser and I can now manage what I eat.  Therefore, this year is dedicated to losing what I gained through my depression and medication.

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Mental Health Humor and psychological disorder humor and cartoons by Chato Stewart

With all that being said, I am on a roll with my exercise routines.  I have gone 2 miles every night this week so far.  Yes, only two nights.  It also wasn’t running full blown because I am that out of shape.  It was a light jog.  I also took up yoga to help me relax and did 30 minutes of it last night.  Needless to say, I am beyond sore today.  I am also trying to work on my posture, as I used to have good posture but lost the core muscles I had for it during the past year.  Now I am trying to remind myself to sit up, have chest out, shoulders down, etc.  I definitely need to work some on my core muscles!

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I have decided that sore muscles are my remedy to suicidal/self-harm thoughts.  It is a way to hurt myself in a healthy way.  It feels good.  The exercise also relieves my depression moods and puts me in a more positive mindset.  It’s a good thing all around!

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