To update you all, my nightmares came again last night. Although, this one was not as bad as the one in which my sister died.
In the nightmare I had last night, I was trapped in a dark cave and trying to get out. But, I couldn’t find the path out. I was trapped in an overwhelmingly small and dark place. Then, a phone rang. I found the phone in my pocket and answered it. The call was from a friend I spent some time with after my father passed away. The friend went off on me about how the issue of us not talking anymore was all my fault. That I didn’t give them a chance and they were too busy for me. How I intruded on their life. I didn’t argue back. I let her ream me out as I took the blame. After we hung up, the phone rang again. It was from the person that used to be my best friend. She also started going off on me about how our falling out was all my fault. Again, I let this person go off on me and I took blame. After I hung up, I don’t remember what happened. I know I was still in that dark and tight cave when I woke up.
After analyzing this dream, as my therapist has taught me to, it again comes back to the theme of me being abandoned in real life. Left alone to fight through my darkness.