I want to check in with all of you. I feel like I owe it to you for all the wonderful prayers and thoughts you have been sending my way. I can’t thank you enough for these. They mean so much to me as I continue to get through this. Jesus has certainly heard your prayers and is guiding me through this. I can almost sense His palm on my back as He pushes me through this and tells me that this isn’t what my life will be like forever. That I won’t be this lonely forever. That this is just the storm leading to His wonderful plan for me. So, again…thank you so much for all your prayers and thoughts. I assure you that they are working and filling me with hope as you all assure me that I am surely needed and wanted in this world. Thank you for that. You are all AMAZING. ❤ ❤ ❤
I don’t have much of anything else to post here. My mind is sort of a blank today. So, I just figured I will update you. I am very exhausted. I started a Bible study tonight on overcoming fear to live out God’s plan for my life. It is most certainly what I need right now. I did get my workout in tonight. I pushed myself to go 3 miles. I haven’t gone that far in a VERY long time. When I got off the treadmill, I could hardly walk. So, I laid down on my floor and then did my stretches. I will have a hard time walking tomorrow, but the pain from the workout was what I needed. I needed to push through these feelings and feel that pain. Now, I am so exhausted that maybe I will have a deep no-nightmare sleep tonight.
I also started going through the tote of family pictures. Feelings of love and comfort come to me when I see me with my mom and dad when I was a baby or little girl. Other pictures, particularly of my mother, made me remember how much I miss them/how much my heart yearns for them. I stopped looking at the pictures when I could feel slow tears forming in my eyes. I suppose I should peel off that bandaid a little at a time.