Hello again.  I am popping in for my update with you all.  I slept VERY good last night.  A few things contributed to this.  1. It is extremely cold where I live and my apartment heat just won’t keep up without making my heating bill go through the roof.  So, more blankets went on my bed.  I think the heaviness of all the blankets helped me sleep harder and deeper.  2.  I was exhausted.  The exhausting exercise helped with this.  I did have a dream, but this one was actually a GOOD one.  So there is is some progress being made there.

I am currently trying VERY, VERY hard to get over my loss of friendships.  I don’t know why this bothers me so much when I have truly forgiven the people for the hurt.  I think most of it is because I want to know why.  Why I deserved what happened to me.  Why I deserve to be left alone.  What I did to make them hate me so.  What I did to make them to forget me so easily.  And most importantly, why they left me.  I want to come right out and ask these people these questions.  Thinking that that may just be the answer I need to heal and get over this abandonment.  But, I think that would just open a can of worms.  I really don’t know.  I just need to get over it.  I just don’t know how.



7 thoughts on “Why?

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  1. So, I have a couple of suggestions, if you’ll entertain them:
    1.) Use a beanie when you sleep. As silly as it sounds, we lose most of our body heat through our head, so I sometimes sleep with a hat on when I think I might get cold.
    2.) In stead of trying to get over the loss of friendships, just go make new friendships and before you know it the pains from those old friendships are replaced with the joys of the new friendships.

  2. I’m so glad your running worked and you slept! And I hear ya about the loss of friendships. I feel like people are staying away from me because they don’t know what to say and it’s uncomfortable. But yeah, maybe we need to look for new friendships!

    1. I went 2.75 miles last night. Slept VERY good again. I just need to keep this up! I definitely know how you feel. My “friends” have just stopped talking to me altogether. It’s hard to cope with, especially when I really need someone right now. You are right. We probably do need to look for new friendships!

      1. I ran on my lunch hour today and the uphill parts were tough because of the snow and I thought to myself that maybe part of the beauty of this physical challenge is conquering it and gaining the confidence that we can transfer to other challenges in our lives. Theoretically, of course! Let’s keep it up!

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