Every day there is a war. Like every war, it is the good guys versus the bad guys. This war is not over some country, land, policy, or misunderstanding. No….this war is in my head. It is over my thoughts.
Some days, I barely want to get out of bed. The tears are moments away from coming. The bad thoughts consume every moment. The thoughts of not being able to make it another second. Or even wanting to make it another second. On other days, I feel okay. Like I have made progress. Like I am lucky to still be alive. It is these days that the good guys pull ahead.
The war is continual and there is no escape from it. I am begging for it to stop. Begging for the war to end. For a truce to be called. For the bad and good guys to just get over themselves and join leagues to put me back together again. But, today is not that day. No….today is a day the bad guys pull ahead.
This……this is depression.