There is so much I have to write about today, so be prepared for several entries from me. First, I need to discuss what is on my mind and why I haven’t written lately. I have been triggered. There are reasons for this.
The main trigger is that my dad’s estate is closing this month, as the 31st will be the one year anniversary of his death. I had to deal with some life insurance things on a policy he had out for me and meet with the lawyer about some questions I had about the will. I did both of these on my own. I never disclose my age, but here we go…..at 26 I feel like I am much too young to have to do this on my own. I feel dumb because I don’t get any of it. And I feel like I look around at see other people my age not having to deal with this. It is very disheartening to me. So, let me tell you about the lawyer.
I walk in and he is sort of curious about why I am there. I give him a line about how I bawled all through the reading of the will and don’t get any of it because I don’t remember it (which is true). He understood and went through the will with me. I really was there for one purpose. He looks at me and says, “I was sort of confused as to why you were coming today, so I asked your brother if he knew. He didn’t. So, I asked if it was about your father’s money. He said that you got your money. And I said no, you didn’t.” I got silent and then said, “I am not going to lie….that is why I am here.” Then, he tells me, “I am glad you came in, I had some concerns myself but couldn’t do anything unless someone came in.” He went through all my dad’s assets with me. According to the will, I am supposed to get 1/4th of all his cash value and the boys get 1/2 of all the farm related things, no cash. But, these accounts have only my brothers’ names on it. Therefore, they are getting the money and would have it had I not come in. We are not talking a little money here people. My dad was a hard working farmer. He was a saver. He saved up for his children and was very smart with money. If it was only a few thousand, then sure…I’d let it go. But, it most certainly is not. So, I look at the lawyer and say rather loudly and angrily, “ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I ALREADY GOT EVERYTHING I INHERITED FROM MY PARENTS?!?!??!?!?! THAT I GET NOTHING ELSE! THAT THEY WILL BE ALMOST MILLIONAIRES AND I AM STUCK HERE ALMOST IN BANKRUPTCY AS I PAY OFF ALL MY STUDENT LOANS!?!??!?!?” The lawyer sadly nodded and then clearly stated that he is to carry out my dad’s wishes. How dad worded the will. Just the names on the accounts contradict that. He then asked me, “Are you willing to challenge this?” And gave me a look that said, “You better.” I swallowed and said, “Yes, I will challenge it.” So, I am off to war with my siblings…..I have 7 challenges that my brothers have to reply to within a week. There could be court hearings. This could be the final breaking point for all hopes of a relationship with my siblings. I am beyond terrified. Lawfully and rightfully, the money is my sisters’ and mine. It was what not just my dad, but my mother, wanted. And I will fight for that. I do not want to be greedy, but my dad did not intend for me to get screwed over.
I almost started crying in front of the lawyer and choked back the tears as my voice cracked. This happened when I admitted to him that I was seeing a therapist every two weeks to deal with the deaths of my parents and being treated this way by my brothers. Being treated like they were the only two born into this family and I never existed. The lawyer was very angry about all of this. He assured me that he would help me and that I shouldn’t have to live with this. That my parents would want me to be happy and financially stable. That he was glad I came in because I need to make peace with this. As I left, he assured me that he would send off my legal statements to my brother and then send his replies to me, which will then be sent out to all siblings.
I am terrified…..completely terrified. Terrified of the emotional bullying and scaring that is going to come my way because I stood up for myself and said, “This isn’t right. My parents wouldn’t want it this way.” I am also terrified of having to go this alone. I know nothing about law. Luckily, my dad’s lawyer is a very nice person and is willing to help me. Willing to help me get peace with my dad’s death and estate.
When I left, I was in almost tears. I thanked him and said, “now, I am going to go drink some strong vodka.” To which he just laughed. I started a war and he knows it. A war that I shouldn’t have to fight at 26. And that I shouldn’t have to fight alone.